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“Anybody can become angry-that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” –   Aristotle

Anger is an every-day struggle for some of us and so does your child. Your child’s anger could however prove to be too difficult to deal with. The anger could be due to issues such as lack of attention, emotional stress, feeling misunderstood or not being treated in the right way. For you it may seem like a normal issue or otherwise petty anger can lead to withdrawal or even living in bitterness.Aristotle, we give tips on how to; recognize if your child has anger issues and how to help him/her deal with it.

We all get angry, so do children and the same way we handle anger differently, children also handle anger differently. Just like grown-ups struggle with anger and are referred to as ‘short-tempered’, in the same way, there are some children who struggle with anger and as that parent you should be, then you need to be there to help your child manage the anger better. Below are some of the ways to recognize that your child has anger issues;

  • Throwing tantrums and breaking things
  • Clenching his or her fists
  • Verbal outbursts
  • Becoming tense and rigid
  • Locking themselves and with-drawing

The first step would be recognizing and accepting that it is a problem you need to do with and be that anchor for your child. So how do you deal with this anger management problem?


Never let your child feel hated just because you hate their anger. Let your child know very clearly that the anger is a separate entity from your child and that you are interested in eliminating the anger itself. There is nothing that can be as frustrating for your child as you trying to show your child that you don’t like their anger by being angry yourself.


Let your child not only feel loved, but also know that you are in this together. This will not only help you know why your child behaves in a particular way, but also your child will be more open and ready to allow you into their struggle.


Remember the phrase, one man’s meat, another man’s poison? What triggers anger in one person may be harmless to another? Get to understand what it is that triggers anger in your child. This can only be done by spending more time with him/her to understand their reaction to different situations. The moment you realize what it is that makes your child angry then you will know how to deal with it and minimize the anger circumstances. It will also lead you to the next step of managing the anger together-strategizing.


Together with your child, come up with ways of dealing with the anger. If you do it together it helps the child not to feel forced and also you won’t end up setting the bar too high. Strategizing in this case refers to getting alternatives on how to react in case of an anger triggering situation. This could be teaching your child to:

  • Take a break or walk away
  • Take deep breathes and count up to 10
  • Take a one minute moment of silence


There is nothing that works better for any struggle like appreciation. Each time you take note that your child has improved in their anger management or if your child reports a moment they were able to deal with the anger. Celebrate and as you are strategizing you should come up with the token of appreciation that you should ensure to honor.




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